[Buddha-l] Gandharan Buddhist Art at NY Asia Society

[Erik Hoogcarspel]

Op 16-08-11 17:32, Richard Hayes schreef:
> On Aug 15, 2011, at 21:10 , Kdorje at aol.com wrote:
>
>> American males may think they are showing affection for each  other by
>> carping, but hostility, denigrating and belittling humor are cruel
> An action can be considered cruel only if the intention is to denigrate or belittle. Unless you have cultivated the ability to know the minds of others, you are not in a position to assess the intentions of other agents. Dan Lusthaus and I are good friends who have a consistently cordial relationship with each other. We like to tease each other. As I said, I realize that it is possible for this behavior to be misinterpreted by people who do not know us, and I agree that it is inappropriate to show affection for another person, especially for a male to express any sort of affection for another male. What could be worse that that? I have apologized already for my publatic display of affection, and I do so again.
>
People develop different behavioural codes and that is sometime very 
confusing. The meaning of the message is not always the code itself, but 
the intentions as Richard says. Most academics have good intentions and 
don't have a very difficult way of showing affection, compared for 
instance with dockworkers or theologians. Recently I went from China to 
Thailand and it struck me that Thai people are much softer in their 
dealing with each other than Chinese. They do not shout, they do not try 
to get in front of you in a queue, they always smile at each other. This 
doesn't mean that the Thai are less violent or more considerate, their 
code is different and as an outsider you have to figure out the intentions.

erik