[Buddha-l] Gandharan Buddhist Art at NY Asia Society

[Jo]

On Behalf Of Erik Hoogcarspel
Sent: Wednesday, August 17, 2011 2:01 AM


Richard said:

......... As I said, I realize that it is possible for this behavior to be
misinterpreted by people who do not know us, and I agree that it is
inappropriate to show affection for another person, especially for a male to
express any sort of affection for another male. What could be worse that
that? I have apologized already for my publatic display of affection, and I
do so again.

Erik says:
People develop different behavioural codes and that is sometime very
confusing. The meaning of the message is not always the code itself, but the
intentions as Richard says. Most academics have good intentions and don't
have a very difficult way of showing affection, compared for instance with
dockworkers or theologians. Recently I went from China to Thailand and it
struck me that Thai people are much softer in their dealing with each other
than Chinese. They do not shout, they do not try to get in front of you in a
queue, they always smile at each other. This doesn't mean that the Thai are
less violent or more considerate, their code is different and as an outsider
you have to figure out the intentions.
Erik

JK replies:
Yes, codes differ across cultures as well as between old friends, or
enemies. However, interpreting intentions can only be based on some
acquaintance with persons and also on the learned ability to read body
language and facial expression. These two signal systems--experience and
body language-- cannot be used with email. This is why most email lists
maintain speech codes based on courtesy and reject the posting of snotty
language, no matter what the intentions may or may not be. This list has
never chosen to maintain verbal courtesy, even though on a few occasions
list members have acknowledged that joking doesn't easily come across in
digital word media. Of course, the solution for those who don't find
personal put-downs edifying, on a list such as this one that doesn't insist
on courtesy, is DELETE-- or dump the list. Few years ago, quite a few list
folk chose the latter course because they were fed up with the fighting talk
and personal slurs.
Joanna








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