[Buddha-l] Re: An experiment (Gender on Buddha-l)

[Franz Metcalf]

Richard et al.,

Loved Richard's very funny and welcome response to me. I was 
particularly skewered by his observation that

> I hate doing my own work as much as I hate doing housework, so I write 
> messages to
> buddha-l and hope she will think I'm hard at work writing a book or 
> something.

I do hope my wife never becomes a buddha-l subscriber. The jig will be 
up for me--unless... that's it, a book! I've been researching a book 
here. That's the ticket. You'll back me up on this in case she ever 
asks, right? After all, what are *you* supposed to be doing instead of 
reading this post?

But Richard and I, while loving similar things about buddha-l, seem to 
differ how to promote them on our list.

God forbid we lose the qualities of humor, repartee, and fearless 
intelligence that set buddha-l apart from other online lists! 
(Qualities we owe, in large part, to Richard and the other moderators.) 
If these qualities are not part of right speech, then forget about 
right speech. But god forbid, also, that our attempts to create these 
things lead precisely to their opposites: anger, isolation, and fear. 
Such results are, unfortunately, easy when we're dealing with beings as 
deluded as, well, us. Tease the right person and receive a response 
that makes the list laugh. Tease the wrong one and receive a response 
that make the list colder. So what if this happens in part because the 
teased person needs to lighten up, or even to grow up? What matters *to 
the list* is that we grow less open and less likely to hear each other 
in a genuinely undefended spirit. Sure, we could continue on and end up 
with only members who can handle this sort of thing, but, I'm afraid 
that would be too narcissistic even for me.

I think working toward more successful humor, repartee, and 
intelligence is worth the effort on buddha-l and everywhere. That 
requires empathy with our partners--who may be veery different than us. 
I think that kind of dialogue *is* promoting the dharma and I *don't* 
think it's easy here, even without Don Rumsfeld.

Franz
(who promises to now put down these "threads" and pick up some real 
"sutras")