[Buddha-l] Right Speech

[Mike Austin]

In message <1128999892.6547.88.camel at localhost.localdomain>, Richard P. 
Hayes <rhayes at unm.edu> writes

>Interesting enough, Dreyfus wrote about
>teasing and hazing as an important part of Tibetan Buddhist practice.
>Again, the idea seems to be that if someone really wants to be a
>bodhisattva, they have to learn to have equanimity when the going gets
>tough and personal and dirty.
..
>When a person's conditioning is an atmosphere of teasing, as mine was,
>then teasing becomes the normal way to do everything. It becomes the
>normal way of showing respect and even affection. The more respect I
>have for someone, and the more I think of them as an equal, the more
>likely I am to show my respect in the form of mock abuse.

I thought this would make an interesting thread. Like you, I enjoy being 
cheeky, teasing and being a little rude at times. It is a sign that I am 
getting on well with someone. And I welcome the same behaviour back.

One of my favourite work situations was with a bunch of guys that always 
tried winding each other up - in a harmless way. The idea was to get one 
another to bite: a sort of gotcha. In the right sort of company, this is 
a stress reliever (quite useful as I work on aircraft wings).

Sparring about like this, making jokes and so on, is an effective device 
against stress.  There seem to be some sort of vibes generated that make 
life that much easier. These days, I feel good humour is one of our best 
remedies for all sorts of anxieties.

The problem is knowing who welcomes such behaviour.  There are those who 
dislike such joviality and levity.  Perhaps they think it is uncaring. I 
look for opportunities to lift these people from their heavy hearts. The 
problem I find, from my own side, is that I feel an imperative to act in 
this way and I can lose sensitivity.  In your playful way on this forum, 
it seems that you sometimes get accused of this.

I was wondering where all this fits in with Right Speech. In the Lam Rim 
there are some quite strong admonitions about calling people names.  And 
in the Bodhisattva vows, it says one should not be 'silly'. I have quite 
a liberal interpretation of the advice - so liberal as to totally ignore 
it at times.  If the motivation is to help, I just hope the consequences 
will not be so dire as I have read in some texts.

-- 
Metta
Mike Austin