[Buddha-l] How Khushwant Singh does, or might do, it

[JKirkpatrick]

Sorry---Plain Text screws up poetry formatting.

Joanna
 

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JKirkpatrick
Sent: Friday, August 05, 2011 7:20 PM
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Subject: [Buddha-l] How Khushwant Singh does, or might do, it

 
[Excerpted from the forthcoming _Absolute Khushwant: The Low-Down
on Life, Death & Most Things In-Between_ (Penguin). The book will
be launched on August 16.]

The Man in the Bulb meditates on the dying of the light Khushwant
Singh

Death is rarely spoken about in our homes. I wonder why.
Especially when each one of us knows that death has to come, has
to strike. It's inevitable. This line from Yas Yagana Changezi
says it best: 
Khuda mein shak ho to ho, maut mein nahin koi shak (You may or
may not doubt the existence of God, you can't doubt the certainty
of death). And one must prepare oneself to face it.

At 95, I do think of death. I think of death very often but I
don't lose sleep over it. I think of those gone; keep wondering
where they are. Where have they gone? Where will they be? I don't
know the answers: where you go, what happens next. To quote Omar
Khayyam, "Into this Universe, and Why not knowing Nor Whence,
like Water willy-nilly flowing..."
and,
"There was a Door to which I found no Key There was a Veil
through which I could not see Some little Talk awhile of Me and
Thee There seemed-and then no more of Thee and Me."

I once asked the Dalai Lama how one should face death and he had
advised meditation. I'm not scared of death; I do not fear it.
Death is inevitable. While I have thought about it a lot, I don't
brood about it. I'm prepared for it. As Asadullah Khan Ghalib has
so aptly put it, "Rau mein hai raksh-e-umar kahaan dekhiye
thhamey Nai haath baag par hai na pa hai rakaab mein (Age travels
at galloping pace; who knows where it will stop We do not have
the reins in our hands nor our feet in the stirrups)."

All my contemporaries-whether here or in England or in
Pakistan-they're all gone. I don't know where I'll be in a year
or two. I don't fear death. What I dread is the day I go blind or
am incapacitated because of old age-that's what I fear-I'd rather
die than live in that condition. I'm a burden enough on my
daughter Mala and don't want to be an extra burden on her.

All that I hope for is that when death comes to me, it comes
swiftly, without much pain, like fading away in sound slumber.
Till then I'll keep working and living each day as it comes.
There's so much left to do. I have to content myself by saying
these lines of Iqbal:
"Baagh-e-bahisht se mujhe hukm-e-safar diya tha kyon?
Kaar-e-Jahaan daraaz hai, ab mera intezaar kar (Why did you order
me out of the garden of paradise? I have a lot left to do; now
you wait for me)."

So I often tell Bade Mian, as I refer to him, from time to time,
that he's got to wait for me as I still have work to complete.
I believe in these lines of Tennyson:
"Sunset and evening star,
And one clear call for me
And may there be no moaning of the bar,
When I put out to sea...
Twilight and evening bell,
And after that the dark!
And may there be no sadness or farewell, When I embark."

I believe in the Jain philosophy that death ought to be
celebrated. Earlier, whenever I was upset or low, I used to go to
the cremation grounds. It has a cleansing effect, and worked like
a therapy for me. In fact, I'd written my own epitaph years ago:
"Here lies one who spared neither man nor God Waste not your
tears on him, he was a sod Writing nasty things he regarded as
great fun Thank the Lord he is dead, this son of a gun."

I had even written my own obit in 1943 when I was still in my
twenties. It later appeared in a collection of short stories,
titled 'Posthumous'. In the piece, I had imagined The Tribune
announcing the news of my death on its front page with a small
photograph. The headline would read: 'Sardar Khushwant Singh
Dead'. And then, in somewhat smaller print:
'We regret to announce the sudden death of Sardar Khushwant Singh
at 6 pm last evening. He leaves behind a young widow, two infant
children and a large number of friends and admirers. Amongst
those who called at the late sardar's residence were the PA to
the chief justice, several ministers, and judges of the high
court.'

I had to cope with death when I lost my wife. Being an agnostic,
I could not find solace in religious rituals. Being essentially a
loner, I discouraged friends and relatives from coming to condole
with me. I spent the first night alone sitting in my chair in the
dark. At times, I broke down, but soon recovered my composure. A
couple of days later, I resumed my usual routine, working from
dawn to dusk. That took my mind off the stark reality of having
to live alone in an empty home for the rest of my days. When
friends persisted in calling and upsetting my equilibrium, I
packed myself off to Goa to be by myself.

I used to be keen on a burial because with a burial you give back
to the earth what you have taken. Now, it will be the electric
crematorium. I had requested the management of the Bahai faith if
I could be buried. Initially, they had agreed, but then they came
up with all sorts of conditions and rules. I had wanted to be
buried in one corner with just a peepal tree next to my grave.
After okaying this, the management later said that that wouldn't
be possible and that my grave would be in the middle of a row and
not in a corner. I wasn't okay with that-even though I know that
once you are dead it makes no difference. But I was keen to be
buried in one corner. They also told me later that they would
chant some prayers, which again I couldn't agree with, because I
don't believe in religion or in religious rituals of any kind.

Though I'm quite fit, I know I don't have much time left. I'm
coming to terms with death, preparing myself. And since I have no
faith in God, nor in the day of judgement, nor in the theory of
reincarnation, I have to come to terms with the complete full
stop. I have been criticised for not sparing even the dead, but
then death does not sanctify a person, and if I find the person
had been corrupt, I write about it even when he's gone.

I don't believe in rebirth or in reincarnation, in the day of
judgement or in heaven or hell. I accept the finality of death.
We do not know what happens to us after we die but one should
help a person go in peace-at peace with himself and with the
world.

I've lived a reasonably contented life. I've often thought about
what it is that makes people happy-what one has to do in order to
achieve happiness.
First and foremost is good health. If you do not enjoy good
health, you can never be happy. Any ailment, however trivial,
will deduct something from your happiness.
Second, a healthy bank balance. It need not run into crores, but
it should be enough to provide for comforts, and there should be
something to spare for recreation-eating out, going to the
movies, travel and holidays in the hills or by the sea. Shortage
of money can be demoralising. Living on credit or borrowing is
demeaning and lowers one in one's own eyes.
Third, your own home. Rented places can never give you the
comfort or security of a home that is yours for keeps. If it has
garden space, all the better. Plant your own trees and flowers,
see them grow and blossom, and cultivate a sense of kinship with
them.
Fourth, an understanding companion, be it your spouse or a
friend. If you have too many misunderstandings, it robs you of
your peace of mind. It is better to be divorced than to be
quarrelling all the time.
Fifth, stop envying those who have done better than you in
life-risen higher, made more money, or earned more fame. Envy can
be corroding; avoid comparing yourself with others.
Sixth, do not allow people to descend on you for gup-shup. By the
time you get rid of them, you will feel exhausted and poisoned by
their gossip-mongering.
Seventh, cultivate a hobby or two that will fulfil you-gardening,
reading, writing, painting, playing or listening to music. Going
to clubs or parties to get free drinks, or to meet celebrities,
is a criminal waste of time. It's important to concentrate on
something that keeps you occupied meaningfully. I have family
members and friends who spend their entire day caring for stray
dogs, giving them food and medicines. There are others who run
mobile clinics, treating sick people and animals free of charge.
Eighth, every morning and evening devote 15 minutes to
introspection. In the mornings, 10 minutes should be spent in
keeping the mind absolutely still, and five listing the things
you have to do that day. In the evenings, five minutes should be
set aside to keep the mind still and 10 to go over the tasks you
had intended to do.
Ninth, don't lose your temper. Try not to be short-tempered, or
vengeful. Even when a friend has been rude, just move on.

Above all, when the time comes to go, one should go like a man
without any regret or grievance against anyone.  Iqbal said it
beautifully in a couplet in Persian: "You ask me about the signs
of a man of faith? When death comes to him, he has a smile on his
lips."

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