[Buddha-l] Confused

[lemmett at talk21.com]

>> Luke, may I say something you could take wrongly? I'll try. >OK, you seem polite.>>this list is discussing several buddhist and non-buddhist topics for years and
years already. (Not me, I'm here for about two years only.) Not only
are many people very learned here, they also have a high tolerance for
those of us who are not and help explain very complicated matters in
'conceivable' words. You come in, ask your questions, and many people
have jumped, read, wrote and asked to get things clear for you. One
has to find some common ground in order to find a way to communicate.
>I know that it's a good list, I've said so several times. Would it be taking your comments the wrong way to ask why you think there is a failure of communication here and to state explicitly what you are asking? I guess that people in general often don't understand me - it's not malice or laziness - just the way I am I guess. Sorry for resorting to such curt replies but whereas I value the list I did not understand what was being said to me...>>Now the ball is back at you. Formulate what you really want to knowand what you yourself think is what Mitchell asked you. If you want to
'know', as you say, put in the effort. You've retreated to short open
answers and a lot of boo-ing and bah-ing in it. You've also announced
that you're leaving for a few times already in more or less dramatic
ways. Let's cut all that and get the discussion back with some effort
or stop it altogether.
>I was trying to offer to leave in case I had offended etc..
>>I'm sorry to be so personal, I'm not sure what my motivation is
because I can also just ignore the whole discussion and get on with
life. But hey, I did it anyway.
>Yeah.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>As far as death is concerned, the closest peak I had at it was when
one of my sisters got brutally murdered and I had to get to terms with
that afterward. After the section on her body we took her home with
us, washed her body and put her on a (cooled) bed. The next morning I
was the first to wake up. I went down into the room where she was and
immediately panicked. There was fear and anger all over the place (or
was it just me?). So I went upstairs to tell my mother that my sister
was not dead, that we could not bury her this way, and that something
had to be done. Many people have stayed with the body for the next
three days and three nights, many things have happened and during the
last morning before her funeral, her facial muscles had relaxed and we
could bury her in peace. Why all this? Because from that moment onward
I 'knew' that death is a process, not a moment in time.
>I don't know that I have any questions about death in that I do feel capable of picking up a book if I need to. I didn't want to suggest that death is just personal, or so personal that it doesn't actually make sense. Richard has helped me with the question I did have and for that I am genuinely grateful.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>I guess that I have very little else to ask about death, or anything off hand and that's why the discussion had stalled etc.. If pressed into asking something a out it I would ask what death's significance is contrasted to more everyday *problems* like boredom, loneliness, even gradual loss of humanity or faith in it. Because I don't know that the question is easily answered at all, even though it may be irrelevant to this list in question. If anyone is curious at all as to why i ask about these things I suffer from severe life long mental illness so I am somewhat whiling away everything really. Also, it might be why I am difficult
 to understand?Best wishes,Luke