[Buddha-l] new sarvaastivaada

[JKirkpatrick]

Richard's new avadaana......can't wait to see it on the silver
screen.
Joanna
========================


> I just spent a few days in the country of Verstehen, so give me
a few 
> days to regain my manhood.

You'll have to double the amount of hagelslag you sprinkle on
your havermout every morning. That will bring your manhood back
to a Verstehen that you can begrijpen. But already I digress.

Erik, you'll be glad to know that I have been working on the
script to an American-style police show set in the Netherlands.
It's called "Leiden is my beat" (or maybe "The mean streets of
Leiden"---the title should reflect somehow what Leiden means in
German, and what lijden means in Dutch). The title will come to
me eventually, but let me tell you the story line.

The main character is a very tall blond policewoman with a pony
tail who rides around the cobble-stone streets of Leiden on a
bicycle. She is so tall that her knees keep bumping the
handlebars. (I thought that was a nice touch of realism.) In the
first episode she sees seeing someone stealing a bicycle. Knowing
that she has no chance of catching the thief (because of her
knees hitting the handlebars, you see), she has to come up with
some other method of stopping the crime wave.  
Fortunately, she knows the owner (now the former owner) of the
stolen bike, so she races to the owner's house to give him a
ticket for failing to have a proper lock on his bicycle. But on
the way to delivering the ticket she stops to help an American
tourist find her way back to her youth hostel after a long
afternoon in a coffeeshop.  
Naturally, the policewoman and the American tourist girl fall in
love.  
This complicates things a bit and causes them both a great deal
of misery. But as luck would have it, when the policewoman
remembers to deliver the ticket to the bike owner and is just
about to press charges against him for his criminal negligence
resulting in tempting a bicycle thief, the owner of the bike
turns out to be a Buddhist, a disciple of a tulku named Steven
Seagal. The disciple gives the policewoman a DVD of Steven
explaining the first noble truth while doing some nicely
choreographed kung-fu moves. When the policewoman and her
American lover see the DVD and hear the dharma proclaimed, their
hair spontaneously falls out and their clothes turn orange, and
they realize they have miraculously become Buddhist nuns. So they
decide to feed themselves to a starving orphaned swan swimming
forlornly in the canal near a windmill.

I'm pretty sure this TV series will be a big hit. I'd like to ask
you to consider playing the part of Steven Seagal. Think about
it, Erik.  
It might help you get some of your manhood back. We might need to
change your name, though. It's much too difficult for an AMerican
audience. We'll have to change it to Eric.

jou vriend,
Richard



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