[Buddha-l] US citizen arrested in Schiphol airport

[Richard Hayes]

On Nov 30, 2009, at 8:48 AM, Erik Hoogcarspel wrote:

> This afternoon the Dutch customs arrested an indologist from the  
> USA, by the name of Richard H. resident of Albequerque. He first  
> drew attention by his performence of pirouettes and double axels on  
> rollerskates on the tune of the sound of music that sounded from a  
> gettoblaster he carried with him.

That's the story that was leaked to the press, but what really  
happened was that I was interviewed by a Dutch customs official in  
Schiphol airport. He asked whether I was taking any Dutch cultural  
treasures out of the country. Probably a look of panic crossed my  
face, because in fact I had packed a canal in my backpack. Not the  
water or the embankments. Just the space that the water flows through.  
I figured there are so many canals in Leiden, that nobody would miss  
one if I took one home. The Dutch officer asked to inspect my  
backpack, and when he found the empty space, he immediately asked me  
whether I was trying to smuggle a canal out of the country. I broke  
into a such cold sweat that icicles formed on my brow. Then I  
remembered that I had a copy of Erik Hoogcarspel's Dutch translation  
of Nāgārjuna in my backpack. I pulled it out and showed it to the  
customs officer. "That space in my backpack is no canal," I said.  
"It's a sample of Buddhist emptiness." Fortunately, he fell for it and  
let me board the plane.

As soon as it stops snowing in Albuquerque, I'm going to go dig a  
trench and put the Dutch canal into it. It will be one of my most  
cherished souvenirs of the Netherlands.

Richard