[Buddha-l] Being in Love

[[DPD Web] Shen Shi'an]

Here's an alternative translation of the same passage by Bhikkhu Bodhi -

Then the Blessed One (Buddha) spoke thus, "If householders, both wife and husband wish to be in one another's sight so long as this life lasts and in the future life as well, they should have the same faith, the same moral discipline, the same generosity, the same wisdom; then they will be in one another's sight so long as this life lasts and in the future life as well."

When both are faithful and generous,
Self-restrained, of righteous living,
They come together as husband and wife.
Full of love for each other.

Many blessings come their way,
They dwell together in happiness,
Their enemies are left dejected,
When both are equal in virtue.

Having lived by Dhamma in this world,
The same in virtue and observance,
They rejoice after death in the deva-world,
Enjoying abundant happiness.

(AN 4:55,II 61-62) -  In the Buddha's Words, p.121-122

Think it's okay that the love is worldly at first, as long as it transforms in good time to be pure. (That seems the point of the passage.) Most folks can't make a quantum leap from conditional love of one (of a few) to unconditional {Bodhisattva-like) love of all beings. We all gotta start somewhere, just like Metta is first radiated inward to oneself, before to all beings :-]

The Buddha clearly knew that it is not easy for most to be ready for a spiritual life that fully relinquishes worldly love. While the Buddha praised ideal matrimonial bliss, he also skilfully urged spiritual cultivation (as above)- which would gradually lessen worldliness of the relationship. Mutually supportive of each other's spiritual life, Prince Siddhartha himself is said to had partnered Princess Yashodhara for some 500 past lives, before becoming the Buddha, thereafter guiding her to be an Arahant! 

Does your love in Samsara embrace Samsara tighter, or does it loosens its grip? – Stonepeace


-----Original Message-----
From: jkirk [mailto:jkirk at spro.net] 
Sent: Wednesday, 20 February, 2008 10:25 AM
To: 'Buddhist discussion forum'
Subject: RE: [Buddha-l] Being in Love

Bravo!!! Looks like you indeed found a sutta that mentions householder love.
I looked up lovein the Monier Wms. online dictionary and found there are many words for it, but they all seem to boil down to desire, or desire to be near someone, not what "we" think of as pure love.

Looking at the Pali dictionary we find:
1. Pema : (page 472) [prema in Sanskrit--JK]

(adv.) [fr. pitar, for Sk. pitrā; cp. Trenckner, Notes 564] from the father's side J v.214 (=pitito).

Pema 
Pema (nt.) [fr. prī, see pīṇeti & piya & cp. BSk. prema Jtm 221; Vedic preman cons. stem] love, affection D i.50; iii.284 sq.; M i.101 sq.; S iii.122; iv.72, 329; v.89, 379; A ii.213; 

So I would like to know which Pali word Thanissaro Bhikkhu translated as "loving words" in the Samajivina Sutta cited by Shen below. It would be interesting to know that.

Joanna 
==============================
 On Behalf Of [DPD Web] Shen Shi'an
Sent: Tuesday, February 19, 2008 6:23 PM

Just found the sutta source that vaguely hinges on "romantic love":
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/an/an04/an04.055.than.html
(It wasn't about a king and queen, but two householders)

[The Blessed One said:] "If both husband & wife want to see one another not only in the present life but also in the life to come, they should be in tune [with each other] in conviction, in tune in virtue, in tune in generosity, and in tune in discernment. Then they will see one another not only in the present life but also in the life to come."

Husband & wife, both of them
	having conviction,
	being responsive,
	being restrained,
	living by the Dhamma,
	addressing each other
	with loving words:
they benefit in manifold ways.
	To them comes bliss.
Their enemies are dejected
	when both are in tune in virtue.
Having followed the Dhamma here in this world,
	both in tune in precepts & practices,
they delight in the world of the devas,
enjoying the pleasures they desire.


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