[Buddha-l] Being in love

[Wong Weng Fai]

Given that most of the Buddhist scriptures were written in the Orient 
where marriages at that time especially were arranged and love as we 
understand it today is considered a childish passion, the wording used in 
the texts regarding marriage are generally about "duty", "to honor", and 
"respect". Eg. Sigolavada Sutta and the one about the husband and wife 
telling the Buddha about how they honored one another (forgot the name).

Having said that, mundane love is clearly a delusion for it involves 
lust and possessiveness - at least some of the time. The meditation on 
corpses is suppose to remedy the latter but note that it is more addressed 
to monks (and nuns). It certainly does not negated the more positive 
aspects of love like sharing, giving, and caring.

And as others pointed out, here in samsara, we have tons of other far more 
negative delusions to deal with first. In other case, why beat up on 
ourselves - esp. since we are in the laity?

Weng-Fai

On Sat, 16 Feb 2008, Stefan Detrez wrote:

> Dear readers,
>
> A friend of mine asked me what 'Buddhism' says about being in love. I'm
> mostly familiar with the Pali-canon and as far as I know I have not
> encountered any references to 'being in love'. My memory claims some nuns in
> the Therigatha were disappointed by an unanswered love and therefore entered
> the Sangha. Whether an actual word as or for 'being in love' was used to
> describe their mental condition I can not remember.
>
> My assumption is that it is considered as a delusion. If so, does 'Buddhism'
> seek to eliminate this particular delusion? What advice does the Buddha give
> to lay folks on 'what to do when being in love' (in any tradition)? Does it
> receive approval in a family-forming context? Could being in love as a
> delusion produce happiness?
>
> Any suggestions are welcome.
>
> Stefan
>
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