[Buddha-l] The Dalai Lama on Self-Loathing

[Joy Vriens]

>Richard Hayes wrote: 
> 
>"Waldron related an anecdote about the Dalai Lama once 
>being asked a question about self-loathing. His 
>initial response was to say he had no idea what was 
>being asked. How can someone loathe himself? It 
>doesn't make sense. So his interpreter gave him a long 
>description of the phenomenon of self-loathing and 
>said it was quite a common affliction among 
>Westerners." 

Katherine wrote: 
>If I remember correctly, this anecdote was first 
>reported in Daniel Goleman’s book *Healing Emotions*.  
>I believe the person who asked him the question was 
>Sharon Salzburg, based on her experience as a 
>meditation teacher.  The anecdote has become a 
>classic, so to speak, in western Buddhist circles. 

If I were the interpreter I would have said, yes you know Dalai-Lama, rember Shantideva? 
It is hard to find someone pushing self-loathing farther than he does and if you happen to have a lover, better not show her what your Buddhist coach tells you about her and about your "love". Shantideva being a Buddhist monk practising anatta, this is what one expects to read. Not understanding self-loathing would perhaps make more sense for someone who distinguishes between self and Self, but that doesn't seem to be Buddhist.

Here are some quotes by Shantideva: 

42. In the past, I too have inflicted such pain on sentient beings; therefore, I, who have caused harm to sentient beings, deserve that in return. 

43. Both his weapon and my body are causes of suffering. He has obtained a weapon, and I have obtained a body. With what should I be angry? 

44. Blinded by craving, I have obtained this boil that appears as a human body, which cannot bear to be touched. When there is pain, with whom should one be angry? 

45. I do not desire suffering; yet, fool that I am, I desire the cause of suffering. When suffering emerges due to my own fault, why should I be angry with anyone else? 

46. Just as the forest of razor leaves and the birds of hell are brought into existence by my actions, so is this. With whom should I be angry? 

47. Those who hurt me are impelled by my actions, as a result of which they will go to the infernal realms. Surely, it is I alone who have ruined them. 

48. On account of them, many vices of mine diminish through forbearance. On account of me, they enter infernal realms with long lasting agonies. 

49. It is I alone who harm them, and they are my benefactors. O Wicked mind, why do you misconstrue this and become angry? 

78. This awful, impure form has its end in ashes and stillness, moved only by another. Why do I grasp onto it as mine? 

179. Of what use is this contrivance to me, whether it is dead or alive? What difference is there between this and a clump of soil and the like? Alas, you are not eliminating the grasping onto the "I." 

180. By favoring the body, one uselessly accumulates suffering. Of what use is anger or love to something equal to a piece of wood? 

181. Whether it is nurtured by me, or eaten by vultures, it feels neither affection nor aversion, so why am I so fond of it? 

161. Deprive yourself of happiness and expose yourself to the suffering of others. Examine your own faults with the consideration, "what have I done, at what time?" 

162. Take the mistake made by another on your head, and disclose even a trivial mistake of yours to the Great Sage. 

163. Let your own reputation be outshone by exalting the reputation of others, and like the least of servants, commit yourself to everyone’s welfare. 

164. This one of defective nature should not be praised for adventitious good qualities. Act so that no one may know of this one’s good qualities. 

165. In brief, whatever offense you have committed toward others for your own benefit, let it descend on yourself for the benefit of sentient beings. 

166. This one should not be encouraged to be abusive, but should be established in the behavior of a young bride, modest, meek, and restrained. 

167. Act in this way! Remain in this way! You should not do this! You should be subjugated and subdued in this way if you disobey. 

168. O mind, if you do not do this even when you are being told, then I shall subjugate you alone, for all faults dwell in you. 

169. Where will you go? I can see you, and I shall annihilate all your vanities. That was another, earlier time when I was ruined by you.