[Buddha-l] Re: ribbing ( Gender on Buddha-l)

[Richard P. Hayes]

On Wed, 2005-10-12 at 11:32 +0100, Mike Austin wrote:

> In my family, this is 'normal' - male and female alike.  In fact, I spar 
> about with my sisters most of all.

My household had no children, so I had no sisters to tease me. My father
was a field geologist and so was away from home for long periods of
time, so most of what I saw (and learned from) was my mother and her
friends. They were a delightful bunch of sharp-tongued women, much given
to teasing each other and me. It was a bit like growing up in an
environment of half a dozen clones of Dorothy Parker. (In fact, Dorothy
Parker was one of my mother's favorite authors, along with James Thurber
and William Saroyan.)

> When I spoke of people not appreciating such sparring, I was thinking of 
> a few men in particular, but I can also recollect women as well.

It has been my practice for as long as I can remember not to spar with
people who don't enjoy it. I have always tried to be careful about this,
even in e-mail forums. What seems to me over the top is when people
complain about witnessing sparring behavior in others, as if it offends
them to see anyone tease anyone. Complaining about having to witness
people engaging in verbal horseplay is not offering reminders about
right speech; it is humorless meddling.

(I apologize, Mike, for agreeing with you about something. It's not as
much fun as when we call each other unregenerate fools.)

Richard